~Charlotte Joko Beck
The above quote is from my favorite Buddhist author, now deceased. As I’ve said before, I have a healthy respect for Buddhism. This is probably because Eastern philosophy makes more sense to me than Western. It’s less enslaved to the left hemisphere of the brain. We often forget that the Bible is an Eastern book as we interpret it from Western perspectives that are heavily influenced by Greek philosophy. Anyway, Beck wrote a book that has been one of the major influences in my life: Everyday Zen. The quote that appears at the beginning of these blogs came from it. Beck's down-to-earth observations and descriptions of what it means to live life I found to be very helpful.
Beck poses an intereseting question in her book: How much reality can you hold without it upsetting you? A lot of it has to do with how tightly we hold to our opinions, preferences and prejudices. I once heard the iconic comedian Jerry Lewis say in an interview that he is "very fanatical" about his opinions. I remember thinking to myself, "How many people around him has to be fanatical about his opinions?" We hold to our opinions, preferences and prejudices with the belief that they are true reflections of reality or the way reality should be, the way it is "supposed to be."
I find two kinds of people as I travel through life who have the hardest time "containing" very much reality. The first at the Controllers. Domineering people who are the happiest when they are controlling the lives of those around them. They believe their job is to be everyone's Authoritative Parent, and their main problem with you is that you are not the way you are "supposed" to be. I was raised by a very domineering, controlling step-father. He dominated everything we did: how we talked, walked, dressed, ate, sat down and got up out of the furniture. One time when I was around 12 he informed me that I was "walking across the room too heavily," and ordered me to "walk lighter." Our home--well, actually, his home that he let us live in with him--had to be a certain way. His way.
Maybe that's why my file at our deminational headquarters actually states that I have a problem with authority.
The other are the Conservatives and Liberals. To be either means that you take on not only their view of reality, but also their agendas, goals, issues, politics and political parties, as well as their anger and hatred (for the other side). Conservatives and Liberals like to dump a lot into our buckets if we sign on. There's a great deal of "how reality should be," how you should be, and arrogantly enough, how the whole bloomin' country "should be." And there's a great deal of anger about things not being as it "should" be (as in the Conservative motto: "We're fed and going to take our country back"). They have small buckets when it comes to how life is, and each tries to dump their baggage about it in our buckets. And as Conservative and/or Liberal Christians, we bring the Conservative or Liberal agenda into the church and make it part of the church's agenda.
One can be a follower of Jesus as long as Conservative or Liberal is how they percieve reality, apparently.
I have refused to sign on as either a Conservative or Liberal, to be identified as either exclusively. When people ask me, "Are you a Conservative or Liberal?" my answer is, "I'm neither, and I'm both." But I'm not a card-carrying member of either one.
Beck asks us the question: How big is your bucket? How much reality can you handle before it starts upsetting you? She makes the point that when our bucket gets "full," when we've handled all the reality we can--however much or little that is--then we try to dump our frustrations and anger about it in other people's buckets.
The most impressive statement she made along this line is that there is such a thing as divine truth, and YOUR opinions, preferences and prejudices are not it. My fellow travelers, THAT hit me right between the eyes. MY opinions, preferences and prejudices are not divine truth! I often assumed that God was where I got them from. But Beck reminds us that having opinions, preferences and prejudices are fine as long as we remember that that's all they are--they are just my opinions, my preferences, and my prejudices, and not God's.
For those of us who cannot hold much reality before it upsets us, Beck has a simple solution: Get a bigger bucket. This is advice that I've tried to adhere to as I live the mystery that is my life, as I pass through this life as a Christian, an American, a Baby Boomer husband and father. I pray that God will help me see those times when the issue is really that I need a bigger bucket.
It was Shakespeare who once said that there is more to life than can be contained in our philosophy.
Some days I don't think the real problem lies in that other person. Or in how I think things are. Or how I think things should be. Some days I think the problem is the size of my bucket.
Beck poses an intereseting question in her book: How much reality can you hold without it upsetting you? A lot of it has to do with how tightly we hold to our opinions, preferences and prejudices. I once heard the iconic comedian Jerry Lewis say in an interview that he is "very fanatical" about his opinions. I remember thinking to myself, "How many people around him has to be fanatical about his opinions?" We hold to our opinions, preferences and prejudices with the belief that they are true reflections of reality or the way reality should be, the way it is "supposed to be."
I find two kinds of people as I travel through life who have the hardest time "containing" very much reality. The first at the Controllers. Domineering people who are the happiest when they are controlling the lives of those around them. They believe their job is to be everyone's Authoritative Parent, and their main problem with you is that you are not the way you are "supposed" to be. I was raised by a very domineering, controlling step-father. He dominated everything we did: how we talked, walked, dressed, ate, sat down and got up out of the furniture. One time when I was around 12 he informed me that I was "walking across the room too heavily," and ordered me to "walk lighter." Our home--well, actually, his home that he let us live in with him--had to be a certain way. His way.
Maybe that's why my file at our deminational headquarters actually states that I have a problem with authority.
The other are the Conservatives and Liberals. To be either means that you take on not only their view of reality, but also their agendas, goals, issues, politics and political parties, as well as their anger and hatred (for the other side). Conservatives and Liberals like to dump a lot into our buckets if we sign on. There's a great deal of "how reality should be," how you should be, and arrogantly enough, how the whole bloomin' country "should be." And there's a great deal of anger about things not being as it "should" be (as in the Conservative motto: "We're fed and going to take our country back"). They have small buckets when it comes to how life is, and each tries to dump their baggage about it in our buckets. And as Conservative and/or Liberal Christians, we bring the Conservative or Liberal agenda into the church and make it part of the church's agenda.
One can be a follower of Jesus as long as Conservative or Liberal is how they percieve reality, apparently.
I have refused to sign on as either a Conservative or Liberal, to be identified as either exclusively. When people ask me, "Are you a Conservative or Liberal?" my answer is, "I'm neither, and I'm both." But I'm not a card-carrying member of either one.
Beck asks us the question: How big is your bucket? How much reality can you handle before it starts upsetting you? She makes the point that when our bucket gets "full," when we've handled all the reality we can--however much or little that is--then we try to dump our frustrations and anger about it in other people's buckets.
The most impressive statement she made along this line is that there is such a thing as divine truth, and YOUR opinions, preferences and prejudices are not it. My fellow travelers, THAT hit me right between the eyes. MY opinions, preferences and prejudices are not divine truth! I often assumed that God was where I got them from. But Beck reminds us that having opinions, preferences and prejudices are fine as long as we remember that that's all they are--they are just my opinions, my preferences, and my prejudices, and not God's.
For those of us who cannot hold much reality before it upsets us, Beck has a simple solution: Get a bigger bucket. This is advice that I've tried to adhere to as I live the mystery that is my life, as I pass through this life as a Christian, an American, a Baby Boomer husband and father. I pray that God will help me see those times when the issue is really that I need a bigger bucket.
It was Shakespeare who once said that there is more to life than can be contained in our philosophy.
Some days I don't think the real problem lies in that other person. Or in how I think things are. Or how I think things should be. Some days I think the problem is the size of my bucket.
Your Fellow Traveler,
~Steve
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