Why Me? Why NOT Me?

Life is a not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be lived.
~Charlotte Joko Beck

As a chaplain of a heart hospital and of a trauma unit, I encounter almost every day a patient who has recieved a distressing diagnosis, or who has had a major heart attack, or some other kind of serious medical issue, and has looked at me and asked, "Why me? Why is this happening to me?" Or a husband or or wife has just been told that their spouse, who just had a sudden major cardiac arrest, didn't survive it, and the spouse asks, "Why is this happening to me?"

Once, when I was a young, good looking pastor long ago, my wife and I were rear-ended by an old 1950's Buick that was built like a German tank. My mid-size Ford Futura suddenly became a compact car. After making sure that my wife and daughter were okay, I got out of the car to check on the driver that had smashed into me. And the question that came to my mind was, "Why me?"

The thinking behind this question seems to be: this stuff happens to other people, not to me or my family. I was once ministering to a young couple who's teenage daughter had just attempted suicide, and the young girl's chances of surviving the attempt did not look good. As I escorted the parents back to the daughter's ER room, the Mom said, "You know, you read and hear about this happening to other parents, but you never think for one moment it will happen to you."

As we travel through the mystery that is our lives, "Why me?" is one of the mysteries that we all face at one time or another.

But really, why is it that we think that "it"--whatever "it" is--won't happen to me? Or to mine? Am I that special of a person that this stuff really happens to others but not to me? What is it about me that makes me exempt? God loves me more? I'm a Christian? I'm a good person? I'm unique? I'm one of the blessed and fortunate? I read once that the majority of Americans believe that the reason for the existence of God is so that He will bless them, keep them safe, healthy and prosperous. Is that the thinking behind the question, "Why me?" The main task of God is to bless me in such a way that me and mine are too special to have anything like this happen?

As I travel through my life, I have come to the conclusion that I may be unique, but I'm not "special." Well, actually, unique is not the word anyone ever uses to describe me. "Quirky" is the word that they use. The advantage of being quirky is that it makes me a very easy person to buy for. Any Star Trek item, or book on philosophy, Quantum Physics, or Martial Arts will make me a happy camper. But being unique or quirky does not make me special. We are all unique human beings.

So, WHY NOT ME? I mean, really. I'm just a human being traveling through this journey of life like everyone else. Many times I have gazed upon a patient in the critical care unit, hooked up to a plethora of medical marvel technology that is doing the breathing for them, knowing that this patient very likely will not make it, and I think, "Why not me?" Being unique--or quirky--does not make me exempt from this. Being forgiven and loved by God and walking with Christ on a daily basis does not mean that I won't be laying in a bed like that. Or that I won't be standing there looking down on my wife or daughter who is fighting for their lives while I'm in utter shock, overwhelmed, my head and my guts spinning and my world collapsing.

Being loved by God does not mean we are so special that we are exempt from such things. I get disturbed when I hear Christians talk about driving, and being behind a slow truck on a 2-lane road and grumbling about it, wanting to speed around it but can't. Then they come up on a fatal car crash and the Christian thinks, "That would have been our car if I'd passed that truck like I wanted to. This is proof that God loves me!"

So did God love the people in the serious crash less?  Does God's love really make us that special?

Why not me? Really, this is no reason why not me. Too many men my age, in their 50's, ignore the warning signs of their health and just plow through, thinking they are invincible. I'm not invincible, and acting like I am would not make it so.

If there was anyone in the Bible that comes to mind that was truly special, it would have be Job. He was so righteous that God even mentioned him by name in a conversation with Satan. Job 2:3, Then the Lord said to Satan, "Have you considered my servant Job, that there is none like him on the earth...?" There is none like him on the whole earth?! Now that is special! And yet, look what happened to Job.

If God never promised Job that he would be exempt from suffering, tragedy or loss, what makes me think I'm exempt? So really, why not me?

I read once that on an average day on this little planet, 152,000 people die. And remember, that's an average day. I'm horrible at math, but I got this figured out to being about 4 people a minute. How do we beat those kinds of odds?

What God has promised me is to be with me...no matter what happens. Even when it feels as though He has abandoned me, He hasn't. When I'm so angry and hurt that I'm convinced He's not even listening to my prayers and pleas, He's listening. "He will neither leave you nor forsake you." Dt. 31:6 

Does He promise to be with me through anything because I'm special? No. It's because of His love.

In this mystery that is my life, I have already been through things I never thought I would have to go through. And God has brought me through. And I'm sure there are still things ahead that will surprise, shock, and even whop me upside the head so hard it will make me spin. And God will see me through those, too.

Afterall, I'm nothing special. And hopefully that will keep God from mentioning me by name when He is having a conversation with Satan. (Grin)

Your Fellow Traveler,
~Steve